Too Busy.....

Missed the session?

 

Sorry to all you readers out there (Yea right! - I do this for me!)

 

Workload too great, too much to do. Life too full.  Hardly even had time to log on never mind review other blogs or write my own.

 

Bah (as a popular North American Blog writer would say - Micifus Phil! in case you didn't know)

 

Matt at Debriefing the boys has been prolific and I haven't had time to read it all never mind write about the site. That is next on my long list of requirements.  One day I will actually get around to posting my back catalogue of good looking guy pics as well.

 

Gotta go

 

Vic

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The all-new Yahoo! Mail goes wherever you go - free your email address from your Internet provider.

Another Session Vic?

Well Vic, here we go again- another half hour session.

Picking up from the last one - you have some strange porn habits - care to share them?

My strangest porn habit seems to be I don't really watch it (I am not sure anyone does truly.) I fast forward to the interesting bits and these are not necessarily the bits you would automatically assume I would stop at. I almmost always stop when they are removing their clothes i.e. when they are in thier underwear, I stop when they are working on an erection through thier underwear, I stop when they are talking to each other - before , during or after. I have been known to watch whole scenes from beginnning to end although this is quite rare. Some of the reasons for this activity, I believe, stems from the fact that I can't be caught watching them, although the danger of possibly being caught adds to the excitement and gives me a buzz. Even when I have the freedom and time to watch I will still speed my way through them - habit? perhaps.

So you don't like gay porn?

Not sure I would say that - I don't like parts of gay porn. I like to see smooth twinks who are comfortable with themselves, who know what they want and know how to get it. My favourite and probably most closely viewed porn is the Bel Ami Casting Couch Series. I have to admit to a predilection for Bel Ami boys that started with Lukas Ridgeston and Johan Paulik.

Which would you prefer to watch - a solo jerk off or a gay couple getting it on?

The couple every time. A JO gets very little airplay as far as I am concerned - Once I have seen the shape, cut and length I am very quickly disinterested. With the couple there is two dicks to look at as well as any dialogue and oral sex. The interaction is often better than the physical sex.

You do not like hairy men - why?

Don't know - thoughts of hair in mouth, uncleanliness, older macho men that I can't make submissive - not sure - just don't. Maybe this is a broader question about 'why do I like young men?' Am I trying to re-capture my own youth? Am I jealous that they are so young, confident and free (and I am not?)? Is it because it is porn and porn is acting, so it isn't real and I can let my fantasy have full reign? Hmm - I will think about this some more!!

Why have you never tried gay sex?

Not sure I want to. Oral sex seems like it could be fun for both partners provided both were recently showered and clipped, I can't get past the idea of hairs in the mouth - yuk.

The thought of anal sex carries a whole range of conflicting feelings for me. When seen in gay porn it seems clean, fresh and nice (mostly). In real life we are dealing with hairy arseholes, someones else's personal cleanliness, shitty follow through's, smelly farts etc etc. I cannot see that anal sex is worth the effort to really prepare and the amount of preparation I would consider mandatory doesn't seem worth the effort for anal sex. I don't know. This is one of the questions that needs answering and probably drives my gay blog reviewing - how do they overcome the physical aspects of smell etc especially when rimming or during oral etc.

(note - Chaos has posted a blog from Grinny - one of this many friends - that covers some of this. It describes his revulsion at someones stinking dick as he goes down on it. My eeew/yuk factor hits its peak when he asks whether he could carry on despite the smell and his nausea. If it stinks nasty then that is your body telling you it is not good, not healthy, not nice stay the fuck away from it!! If it makes you feel sick - stay away!!)

So ultimately your gay'ness extends as far as watching other people have sex and jerking off to it?

Yep. Sometimes I don't even JO I just watch - I am getting old I suppose!!!

What do Blogs have that interest you so much?

Real life problems. I want to know what makes it (gay sex) great for other people. All the guys I read about have a freedom - I probably had this too, if I am honest, but what really interests me is that they are taking the opportunity. Making mistakes and carrying on. Having NSA (no strings attached) sex - no dinner dates, visits to the cinemas, flowers or chocolates just sex for mutual pleasure and no more.

I think I envy this as it is the obvious unobtainable for me. (Unobtainable through a lifetime of personal suppression, peer pressure, background and looking at what I wrote earlier a fear of risking all for something that ultimately I wouldn't enjoy.)

Phil (Micifus), Matt (Dudetube), Steve (Chaos) etc share their life - warts and all without apologising for it. There is so much I want to know about each of them - asking wouldn't be unthinkable but maybe they might let slip some of the answers I want without having to.

So are you interested in the guys or their lifestyle?

Both. Their lifestyle seems bohemian, interesting, filled and predominantly happy but I am not that stupid. They blog about the interesting, bohemian and filled areas of their lives. The mundane, the preparations, the boring gets forgotten about. That part is the guys - how do they deal with it? Is gay sex as great as they make out or is it a little bit nasty, a little bit painful, a little bit tedious? I don't know and unless someone tells me I won't find out. Gay Porn will NEVER let me see that side of gay life but maybe these guys will.

Do you use the images and stories on the blog site to jerk off too?

Almost Never. - The great cock hunt has told some stories/adventures that have created the urge (I try not to resist it too much) but the other guys because they are telling it as it happened to them don't seem to be telling it to excite me they are reporting, like the news. Dudetube has shown the odd clip that has created the urge but I tend not to get too excited when I can't see their faces or they are not doing something out of the ordinary.

Out of the ordinary?

Using fleshlights, self fellatio, shaving, clipping, inserting objects up their arse or down their dick. Taking a piss (not on anyone though). Soft to hard transition.

Anything other than a solo JO. I have looked into the S&M, Water Sports arena and all I can say is NO THANKS. Glory Holes - no. Bear sex - no, fisting - no, bareback - no, double penetration - yep, twinks taking a piss - yep, pretend twink rape by a bear - NO WAY. pretend twink rape (or subjugation) by another twink - yes way! Realistic rape - no, animals - no, etc etc Kiddie porn - purveyors should be shot

Question to self - did I like every pool boys dream? Yes. When I thought all actors were over 18 -

Question to self - do I still like it now? Don't know - Won't watch it so doesn't matter.

RING RING

Alarms signals session end.

Will try and do the piece on Debriefing the boys.

Why does time disappear so fast?

I know I should be writing about debriefing the boys in this post. The clue is in the links list on the right but I feel the need to share some of the self examination (not physical I assure you!) I have been doing over the past few weeks.

In some of the previous blogs I have hinted at some of the strange stuff I do - some of it I do without even thinking about it - it is just natural. I can't sit through a gay porn movie from beginning to end (does anyone watch them like that?) I can't even watch the video clips on dudetube (link this) if they are longer than 2 minutes. Am I SO impatient? Do I just want to see the money shot?

Why do I even watch them? You may have read in the Brent Corrigan post below that I actually felt some (revulsion is too strong a word!) dismay, upset, uncomfortableness in seeing Brent engage in anal sex with another boy.... WHY? Why did this upset me? I originally went to his website to see pics of him and had he included film extracts at that first point of contact I would have been fine with it. Why is it that now, because I have got to 'know' him (in the loosest sense of the word), I no longer want to see him do the thing that I was hoping to see in the first place? Confused? So am I.

Lets have a quick look at the motivations shall we? Open Wide Vic.... Say Ahhh!!!

Ahhh..

(In best German psychologist voice) Vic, let me ask you some questions and please answer honestly...

Are you GAY?

Some TV program I once saw said that if you watched guys walking down the street rather than the girls you were gay. I do that, I watch both the guys and the girls but if I am honest then I watch the guys more.

If you watch gay porn you are gay. I do that. I like, really like ! gay iconography, gay porn and delving into the lives of gay YOUNG men. I like Teen and twenties men - twink not bear, young not old and lithe not flabby, but with muscle definition not muscle bound?

Do you watch or you look at gay porn? Do you get a hard on that fills your trunks with pre-cum?

Sometimes, yes most definitely I do. That is where this blog all started.

Do you have other Gay traits?

Like what?

Are you concerned about your looks and appearance?

No - not really. I have never really been that body or appearance conscious. I do not own any male toiletries beyond aftershave and shower gel - no exfoliants, no hair restorers, no hand or body creams.

Key Question.... Have you ever had sexual relations with another man?

No. I have never had anything bearing a sexual relationship with a man.(discounting some fumbling in the woods when I was 9 years old - more on that later perhaps!) I have had a couple of male friends who I am sure would have entered some sort of curiosity/discovery relationship in my youth but even now the thought of any form of sex with them is not even palatable never mind arousing.

Why not?

Not sure. I had plenty of opportunity in my youth to seek it out. Homosexuality was not looked upon as acceptable in the small town I grew up in. Was I repressed? - definitely. Was I scared of what other people would think of me? - Certainly. Couldn't I move away where no one knew me and I could be who I wanted to be? - Yes and I did. I moved to college far away from home.

Any Sexual Relations at all?

Yep, all female. College introduced me to my first true love, a male friend who professed love for me although we were both ostensibly straight and my first (and only) STD. My male friend, Joe and I shared everything including girls although never together. He was brash, confident and very sexually active (as long as it had a pulse it was fair game for him) whilst I was bookish, geeky and a little bit ill at ease with the whole sex thing.

One thing of note: As a 16 year old I was befriended by a family friend who was a ex-army. He was about 22 so much older than me. We cycled, played pool, watched films etc just like other guys my age did. I didn't think anything of it. We used to fight, only play fighting and more a test of strength and agility than anything else...until...I was sat down and informed that he was dismissed from the army for some sort of ungentlemanly conduct - talking around the subject my parents told me he was discharged because it was suspected he was gay.

For me that was a shock and a very scary revelation. I handled it really well (for a sixteen year old boy) - I ignored him! - I pointedly and unashamedly made him feel very uncomfortable and unwelcome when ever he came around to the house. I always found something else to be doing and I squirmed out of any contact with him (I was so mature about it - don't you think?)

I looked back for many years thinking of the hurt I probably caused him. I am not sure of his motives and I never will be. We still meet infrequently - funerals, weddings etc but never discuss the past. Some years later I went to his marriage, to a girl with two kids, I felt like a real shit. Later when it was mentioned in passing that he was living with a man and the marriage had broken up I felt vindicated, smug and content that I had done the right thing. Now however - I think I hurt him badly and that was unnecessary and cruel. I should have discussed the issues, I should have set out the boundaries, I should have explained my problems with his perceived sexuality.

ALARM CLOCK RINGING...

The half hour is up. We will continue this next time.

Next time I want to ask about your porn habits - where and when it started? how and why you do it?